sorry i've been neglectful

here i am back in france... and it's hard to believe that only a week ago we were still in india.

the transition is very difficult. everyone wants to know how ryan is doing, if she saw improvement, how am i, did i have a life-changing experience in india, etc. The answers to all of these questions is an emphatic 'yes.'

now i just have to sort out my life after two months of being elsewhere and see where the wind takes me.

click here to see michael almost kick himself in the head!

just another day in the pool

Today, much to the dismay of the Indian "lifeguards" (I put that in italics because I'm not convinced they actually do any life-guarding - it appears to me that many of the swimmers are nearly drowning and no one jumps in to save them), I taped Ryan and Michael swimming in the pool. Much of the audio on the videos I took includes me attempting to reason with the lifeguards about why I should be allowed to break the rule of "nothing on the deck" - which appears to include towels, bottles of water, apparently cameras, and, at one point, wheelchairs. I finally was able to convince them I should be able to tape by explaining that the doctors wanted to see Ryan and Michael's progress (this was not entirely true, though Dr. Ashish did express his interest in seeing the footage later.) This permitted me to tape for a few minutes, but then I was told my time was up. Lame.

But here is a video of Ryan swimming breaststroke. It's hard to see her hips moving forward like I mentioned in my last blog - I can see that best when I'm underwater. But she does look pretty freaking fast, and I think you all can agree (particularly those of you who have seen her swim breast before she came to India.) Even she says that her breaststroke feels faster.

ryan's hips don't lie

This morning we went swimming and while Ryan was diligently doing her workout and I was playing around in the pool, I happened to catch a glimpse of her breaststroke under the water. It was pretty unbelievable - her hips were actually part of her stroke. I really can't explain it very well, but at the point in her stroke when she would normally kick - her hips jutted forward. Of course, then her legs just kind of followed along, but there was definitely an active movement forward of her hips.

Perhaps this doesn't sound like such a miracle - but I've never seen her swim like that. Before, it was obvious that her hips and legs were just following her upper body on her stroke, but this was definitely different. Her hips were moving forward in an active motion. Does that make any sense?

I watched her do some butterfly and it was the same thing - though already her fly has improved immensely since she's been here. Her whole body is undulating, moving in and out of the water in a wave-like motion - but there it was again: at the point where she should have kicked, her hips popped forward.

It kind of freaked me out a bit! I've been watching her swim for the last 10 years, and I've never seen this before. Crazy... and great! Now if only she could feel it...

In another note, my birthday was fairly tame but still fab. Thank you all for the birthday wishes, they are much appreciated! Be sure to wish Ryan a happy 28th tomorrow (Monday 18 August)!

the countdown begins...

It's remarkable to think that we only have 10 days left to spend in India. The last month and a half haven't exactly flown by, but I feel like I've just really gotten accustomed to living in India, seeing Ryan do physio and walk in her calipers, and trying to fit everything in that we want to do. It's weird to think that we have less than two weeks left to do that. There seems like so much more to accomplish - both physically for Ryan and in terms of what we want to do in India before we go.

The last few days have a been a bit of a whirlwind. Erin left on Wednesday morning, and on Tuesday I found out that Kanako's dog is really ill and she needed to get home immediately. After a few days of going back and forth to the airport, calling the airlines a million times, and finding numerous inexpensive tickets online that disappeared as soon as
we tried to purchase them, we finally got Kanako home on Wednesday night. Her puppy is happy to have her home.

With Kanako leaving, I've moved back into the hospital (or at least I'm in the middle of doing so.) I have a lot left to do at my apartment (namely laundry and cleaning) but I figure I have about 10 days to do it, so I'm taking my time.

Today (15 August) was Indian Independence Day, and we celebrated with a great party at the hospital (complete with a band singing crazy English songs) as well as with birthday cake for Ryan and I (it was actually for Kanako, whose birthday is today, but since she left early, we had to celebrate Ryan and I's.)

Speaking of birthdays, mine is tomorrow (I'll be 26) and the anticipation of it has to be the most anticlimactic thing I've ever felt. As I've aged, I've tended to feel much less excited anticipation before my birthday, but this year is just crazy. It's like I have no connection to the fact that it's "my special day" whatsoever. Perhaps it's because this trip is really not about me, but it's somewhat refreshing to respond to the question, "what are you going to do for your birthday?" with "well, I think I'll go watch Ryan do physio, maybe go swimming, and go over and do some laundry at my apartment." I feel so mundane.

Ryan and I will have Ayurvedic massages on Sunday and then we'll go out to dinner at the Imperial Hotel to celebrate the anniversaries of our birth, so don't worry.

Anyway, life, as always, is exciting here in India, and I'm looking forward to seeing with the home stretch has in store for us.

spendo in vasant vihar

I'm sorry I haven't been blogging lately. Things seem to be happening too quickly to record them accurately.

On Saturday night, we had a spendo at my apartment in vasant vihar. I had invited the ladies over to watch the Olympics on my fabulous TV and couches - of course, without first checking to see if my apartment had cable (I swear the woman whose house this is said something about cable) but unfortunately there was not. So instead we tried to watch a Bollywood film on the DVD player instead, but because we bought it on the street for 69 Rupees, only about 69% actually worked.

So, without much to do but lots of energy to expend, we decided to do some masks. Doing face masks is one of my most favorite pastimes, and I am glad that I always encounter other people to enjoy them with me.

For the record, Kanako and I are wearing a Himalaya Herbals Almond and Cucumber peel-off mask (it's a mask, I promise we're not just that sweaty) and Erin and Ryan are sporting the Oriflame Tomato Clay mask. After a photo shoot and about 30 minutes of giggling, our skin was as soft as a baby's butt.

crazy street dogs

Here is a photo I took of a street dog waiting for the bus. I hope he has correct change.

work AND play in India

The view from my "desk"

I've been struggling quite a bit with the amount of transcription work I have and how I feel like that sort of pulls me away from being able to spend time with Ryan (I miss things like swimming, yuck) - balancing that with the need to make some extra money so I can actually afford to be here in India with her.

Today I found a pleasant balance when we went to Lodhi Gardens an hour before sunset so that Erin could take some more photos. The Lodhi Gardens are located strangely in the middle of smelly Delhi, with hundreds of species of trees and birds, and littered with Mughal ruins. They are gorgeous.

This afternoon, I brought my computer with me to the gardens and while Ryan, Erin, Kanako, Michael and his girlfriend Shaney (sp?) walked around the park, I plopped down on a bench near a ruin and worked diligently on my two-hour transcription. It was lovely.

After about an hour or so, Erin came and got me, and the lovely Indian man sitting on the bench next to me told her that he had been meditating next to me while I was working, and he could tell that I had really great energy. He then proceeded to give Erin a tidy primer on Buddhism.

His lesson for Erin also reiterated many of the things I got from the I-Ching today about my life, so it was interesting to hear at this point. More confirmation that I need to be patient and that everything will work out the way it is supposed to. Just what I need to hear. Again!

Hitchcock's The Birds?

this might be another kooky one...

I suddenly find myself, once again (it seems like a lot for someone of my young age) at a relative crossroads in my life - both figuratively and literally. I did the free 3 card tarot read on www.tarot.com tonight and one of my cards came out as this:

Judgment

in the "Self" Position

Main (positional) Meaning: A gathering of lost fragments allows you to connect to your Higher Self. The card in the Self position reveals aspects of how you perceive yourself right now. The Judgment card symbolizes redemption -- a wake-up call combined with the re-integration of missing parts of your self. The common image of people rising out of the grave symbolizes various aspects of the whole self returning to consciousness: subconscious contents, dream time visions, the emotional body, the soul itself. These are aspects of you that had been neglected, sacrificed, sublimated, destroyed, lost or simply undiscovered. A process of transformation allows you to access them consciously. The experience of subtle dimensions is a mystery words cannot explain. One can only be receptive to profound moments of reckoning when they come.

I feel like this trip has really solidified this transitory experience for me. Being here, supporting my best friend in her quest for who-knows-what, being constantly amazed by the minor (and major) miracles created by stem cells, spending time with people who feel as close to me as family, learning about a new culture, constantly living outside of my comfort zone (I'm so tired of haggling for a decent rickshaw price!), having so much time to think and contemplate what it means to walk, to run, to think, to love and to live... I am so fortunate to have this experience.

I'm constantly amazed by the religiosity here in India. Even without knowing what the statues, prayers, and songs represent it's difficult not to be moved by the temples on the corner each afternoon filled with worshipers and the presence of religious iconography in every rickshaw. I've never seen so many protective mantras and so much blatant faith as I've seen in India. And regardless of its intent, it's inspiring.

There are so many things that I am going to take from this experience. I can't tell you how thankful I am that I've been fortunate enough to take the time off from my job to spend the summer here supporting Ryan. I cannot even fathom being anywhere else right now than playing on the parallel bars in the physio room, watching Ryan walk in her calipers in the mirrored walls. Everything about it is inspiring.

I hope that the tarot card is right - that being here supporting Ryan and experiencing a culture like India has really opened me up to a new part of my life, complete with undiscovered aspects of my true self!

I hope that being a part of Ryan's journey, and continuing on my own journey, will give me the wisdom and the courage to open up to this new phase of my life and whatever the universe has in store for me next.

who is taller???

the gang at the mall

Apparently, in India, the 3rd of August is Friendship Day. I post this photo in honor of that very special holiday.

Ryan is a side-stepping fiend

Here is a video of Ryan side-stepping, a new skill she picked up this morning. Please keep in mind this was her first time, and she will inevitably improve immensely over the next few weeks.

On another note, I'm happy to report that Ryan is recovering nicely after today's procedure at Gautam Nagar hospital (sans internet access). Today's procedure was probably the most intense of all of them - Dr. Ashish injected stem cells directly into Ryan's spinal cord at about L4 (as opposed to the spinal muscles and the cerebral spinal fluid of the earlier procedures.)

After the procedure, Ryan was invited to lie flat on her back, inverted, without moving ANYTHING for five hours, an invitation she graciously accepted. She had been warned by our friend Michael that the only way to avoid a massive headache and a bout of nausea was to keep her head perfectly still for those five hours, which she was somewhat able to do. Luckily, by the time I left the hospital tonight at around 9:15, she was not suffering from any side effects.

Ryan and I also got quite intimate this evening when I helped her pee three times (remember, she can't move her head or anything.) In fact, what I got most intimate with was Ryan's pee - all 12 gallons of it (she's on bottle 4 of a saline IV drip to keep her hydrated.) Once again, I'll spare you the details, but if Ms. McLean ever asks you to hold the bag when she has to pee, I suggest you get a chair and you wear gloves!

more henna hair photos