this might be another kooky one...

I suddenly find myself, once again (it seems like a lot for someone of my young age) at a relative crossroads in my life - both figuratively and literally. I did the free 3 card tarot read on www.tarot.com tonight and one of my cards came out as this:

Judgment

in the "Self" Position

Main (positional) Meaning: A gathering of lost fragments allows you to connect to your Higher Self. The card in the Self position reveals aspects of how you perceive yourself right now. The Judgment card symbolizes redemption -- a wake-up call combined with the re-integration of missing parts of your self. The common image of people rising out of the grave symbolizes various aspects of the whole self returning to consciousness: subconscious contents, dream time visions, the emotional body, the soul itself. These are aspects of you that had been neglected, sacrificed, sublimated, destroyed, lost or simply undiscovered. A process of transformation allows you to access them consciously. The experience of subtle dimensions is a mystery words cannot explain. One can only be receptive to profound moments of reckoning when they come.

I feel like this trip has really solidified this transitory experience for me. Being here, supporting my best friend in her quest for who-knows-what, being constantly amazed by the minor (and major) miracles created by stem cells, spending time with people who feel as close to me as family, learning about a new culture, constantly living outside of my comfort zone (I'm so tired of haggling for a decent rickshaw price!), having so much time to think and contemplate what it means to walk, to run, to think, to love and to live... I am so fortunate to have this experience.

I'm constantly amazed by the religiosity here in India. Even without knowing what the statues, prayers, and songs represent it's difficult not to be moved by the temples on the corner each afternoon filled with worshipers and the presence of religious iconography in every rickshaw. I've never seen so many protective mantras and so much blatant faith as I've seen in India. And regardless of its intent, it's inspiring.

There are so many things that I am going to take from this experience. I can't tell you how thankful I am that I've been fortunate enough to take the time off from my job to spend the summer here supporting Ryan. I cannot even fathom being anywhere else right now than playing on the parallel bars in the physio room, watching Ryan walk in her calipers in the mirrored walls. Everything about it is inspiring.

I hope that the tarot card is right - that being here supporting Ryan and experiencing a culture like India has really opened me up to a new part of my life, complete with undiscovered aspects of my true self!

I hope that being a part of Ryan's journey, and continuing on my own journey, will give me the wisdom and the courage to open up to this new phase of my life and whatever the universe has in store for me next.

who is taller???